What if the reason you do not know who you are supposed to be is because you have just spent way too much time trying to be who everyone else needed you to be? You may know how to be a good friend, a good partner, a good daughter, a good employee or the person people can rely on. You may know what other people expect from you. You may even know what you are supposed to want. But when someone asks what you want, what matters to you or what kind of life feels right for you, the

Doyou ever make a mistake and find yourself thinking about it long after everyone else has moved on? Maybe you replay what you said, question how you handled something or focus on the one thing you could have done better, even when there were plenty of things you did well. You might tell yourself that you are simply trying to improve. That you have high standards. That being hard on yourself is what keeps you motivated. But what happens when nothing you do ever feels quite go

You are sure to know how this ends! You have seen it before. You recognise the feeling, the conversation, the disappointment or the frustration because somehow you have arrived at the same place again. And yet, when the situation comes around, you do the same thing. You say yes when you meant no. You give someone another chance when you should not. You avoid the conversation you know you need to have. You stay quiet, hoping someone will notice. You overthink the decision, del

Some parts of you only appear or disappear under very specific conditions. Like when you are alone. When you are with someone you completely trust. When you are doing something that makes you lose track of time. Or when you are not trying to be sensible, agreeable, impressive or easy to understand. Those moments can reveal more than you expect. They might reveal the opinion you usually keep quiet, the ambition you tend to minimise or the side of your personality that doesn't

Can you really just be too confident? It is an interesting question, especially if you have spent years being told to speak up, believe in yourself, stop doubting yourself and finally take up some space. But what happens when you actually start doing it? You become more direct. You stop asking for permission. You trust your decisions. You say no without explaining yourself for twenty minutes. And suddenly, someone tells you that you have changed. You are arrogant. You think y

Why do I sometimes wonder whether I am actually being myself? It can be a strange feeling. You may not be lying to anyone. You may not be pretending to be someone else. You may even look completely comfortable with your life from the outside. And yet something feels slightly off. You start questioning your reactions. The way you speak. The choices you make. The people you become around different people. You start wondering whether you genuinely like the things you say you lik

What does it actually mean to be empowered and expressive? Because you can be confident enough to speak your mind and still spend your life making decisions based on what other people will think. You can have a voice and still be afraid to use it. You can know exactly what you want and still find yourself saying, “Whatever works for everyone else.” You can tell other people to be themselves while quietly editing yourself every day. So perhaps being empowered and expressive is

When you are not comfortable with yourself it creates constant editing that can feel very draining. You can look in the mirror and find something wrong. You can walk into a room and immediately notice who seems more confident. You can make a mistake and think about it for hours. You can achieve something and still feel as though it was not quite enough. You can receive a compliment and immediately find a reason why it probably was not deserved. And sometimes you can have a pe

You know that moment when someone asks what you want for dinner and you say, “I do not mind,” even though you absolutely do? Or when you have a thought in a meeting, feel it forming, and then watch someone else speak before you because you have already decided theirs will sound better? Shrinking yourself does not always look dramatic. It can happen in tiny, almost forgettable moments. You laugh off the thing that hurt you. You say yes before checking whether you have the time

We are always told to be authentic. To speak our mind. To just stop worrying about what other people think. To show up as the person we really are. It sounds simple until you are standing in front of someone you have never met before. How much should you say? How much should you reveal? What if they judge you? What if they misunderstand you? What if you show them something real and they use it against you? These questions can make self expression feel much more complicated th

Have you ever noticed that you seem to become a slightly different version of yourself depending on who you are with? Perhaps you are confident and talkative around one group of people, but quiet around another. You might laugh more with certain friends. You might become more serious around certain family members. You might find yourself agreeing with opinions that you would normally question. You might change the way you speak, dress, behave or even the things you pretend to

Often there are times when your heart and your mind seem to want completely different things. Your heart is telling you how something feels. It may be telling you that you want something, that something feels wrong, or that you cannot quite explain why you are drawn towards a particular choice. Your mind is looking at the facts. It is thinking about consequences, practicalities, risks and what might happen if you make the wrong decision. And sometimes they agree. But sometime

We hear these phrases all the time. Express yourself. Be yourself. Let people see the real you. It sounds simple enough. But what does it actually mean? Does expressing yourself mean saying exactly what you think? Does it mean telling people how you feel? Does it mean dressing differently, being creative, speaking your mind or refusing to follow the crowd? It can mean all of those things. But self expression is much bigger than that. In its simplest form, self expression is a

There is something quite interesting about the way we encourage other people to be themselves. We tell our friends to speak their mind. We tell our children to be confident. We tell someone who is changing careers to follow what they really want. We admire the person who walks into a room and seems completely comfortable being exactly who they are. We even encourage people to stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks. Yet somehow, when it comes to ourselves, many